Location, Location, Location

My favorite TV show of the moment

My parents love real estate. My daughters love reality television. Sandwiched in between them, I love Location, Location, Location.

For those who don’t know, Location, Location, Location is a British TV series which has been on the air since 2000. (Many episodes are available for streaming in the US via YouTube.)

Like many reality TV shows, Location, Location, Location follows a pretty strict formula. As each episode begins, we meet two sets of potential homebuyers. Participants run the gamut from young couples buying their first home to empty nesters looking to downsize. We get a quick sense of what they are looking for — A move-in ready apartment with all the mod cons? A fixer upper with room for a home office? — and then we are off, accompanying our prospective homebuyers as they visit 3-4 potential properties. We follow them around as they inspect the bedrooms (almost always too small!), gardens (often surprisingly large!) and other features of their potential new homes.

For fans of Location, Location, Location, there is joy in repetition. Almost every episode hits the same beats. Perhaps the most consistent element of the show is the huge gulf between what homebuyers want and what they can actually afford. They must learn the hard way that the longer their commute, the further their money will stretch.

And so Location, Location, Location mostly ends up being an advertisement for the suburbs. Participants declare that they are looking for a home in the center of Edinburgh, near their favorite pubs and shops, but inevitably they end up settling in places that even the most Anglophilic viewer has never heard of, with quirky names like Comely Bank and Corstorphine.

Indeed, vicarious tourism is one of the primary selling points of Location, Location, Location. The vast majority of the episodes take place outside of London, which gives viewers the chance to get a taste of less well-travelled parts of England, Scotland and Wales. Judging by Location, Location, Location, there is a lot of charm to be found all over the UK.

In addition to B-roll of quaint stores and leafy greens, Location, Location, Location offers a thrill that can best be described as pornographic: it takes us inside the homes of other people where we can get an intimate look at how they live without fear of being seen or judged by them in return. Suffice to say that watching Location, Location, Location induces both envy and revulsion in nearly equal measure. For every gorgeous renovation of a two-hundred year old house, there is an equal number of borderline tragic design decisions that test the limits of good taste and common sense.

Key to the success of the show, in my opinion, is that not every episode ends successfully. Sometimes the house hunters look at the properties on offer and decide that none are acceptable. But sometimes, they fall in love with a place and decide to make a bid. When the show ends with a successful purchase, it is hard, at least for this viewer, not to feel a measure of satisfaction on behalf of the relieved homebuyers.

We are guided through each 45 minute show by two presenters, Phil Spencer and Kirstie Allsopp, who are billed as “property experts” rather than real estate brokers, although they perform all of the tasks traditionally associated with real estate brokers. Spencer and Allsopp aren’t particularly funny or clever, but they are nonetheless compelling screen presences. I’m not quite sure how to explain their appeal, except to say that they have good chemistry. Their relationship has a big brother/younger sister dynamic — their teasing banter seems to mask a deep underlying affection for one another.

While most people in the United States have never heard of Location, Location, Location, in the UK, the show is approaching national treasure status. The Telegraph has called Allsopp and Spencer “TV’s premium presenting duo,” and Vice labeled Location, Location, Location “the greatest show on British TV.” I don’t know that I’d go quite that far (I have previously written about my enduring fondness for Grand Designs), but I recommend the show very highly.